Naga Chilli Vodka

Do you like spice? I mean do you really, really like spice? Are you happy to chow down vindaloo and phal curries with a casual disregard for your own palate and the sweat drenching your brow?  If the answer is yes then I suggest you keep reading as Naga Chilli Vodka is certainly for you. If you find the heat in a Madras offensive, then may I kindly suggest you come back to this vodka when you've grown a pair! Naga Chilli vodka is officially the world's hottest vodka and comes in two varieties; there's the 100,000 Scoville version and, for those of you who are truly demented, there's the 250,000 schoville option. The Scoville scale is the official method of measuring the heat of chilli's and each Scoville unit denotes how many times the chilli must be diluted by its own mass of water until the heat is only just detectable. The humble Jalapeno weighs in at a just 5000 Scoville's whilst the Naga Jolokia pepper, which the vodka is made from, can exceed 1,000,000 Scoville's! Just to put this into context, the Naga Jolokia rates higher on the Scoville scale than most pepper sprays used by police and military forces! The Naga, which grows in India and Bangladesh, used to be the hottest chilli in the world and was only recently surpassed by the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion pepper. You may be more familiar with the Naga's alias, The Ghost Pepper! It's hilarious, but trust me, you'll feel their pain too! So how is this devil's brew made then? Grain vodka is infused with 18kg of the insanely hot peppers in carboys for several weeks. When the concoction turns a dark caramel colour it's deemed ready for bottling by men in protective suits. That's no joke, these guys are fully equipped with gas masks and industrial rubber gloves to protect their skin, eyes, nose and lungs; you know, just like they do in meth labs! The drink is recommended as a mixer and I've been told it really adds a nice kick to a Bloody Mary cocktail. In actual fact, the guys that make this say not to drink it straight. There doesn't seem much fun in that, surely this was made with shots and dares in mind, so I promptly ignored that warning and took the plunge by trying them both neat. Now bear in mind that I am a regular consumer of hot and spicy food, my local curry house is on speed dial and I never have anything under vindaloo strength. That info is definitely worth bearing in mind when I describe the aftermath of drinking this stuff as my tolerance to heat is reasonably high.

Naga Chilli 100,000 Scoville Vodka

I started with the 100,000 Scoville vodka first. I slammed the shot and waited for the pain to begin; it never did. Sure it was hot, no doubt about it but it was no worse than a pizza with a ton of jalapenos on it. No doubt this will be too hot for some but I don't think that it's actually dangerous like it says on the label. I would say that a Flatliner (tequila, sambuca and Tabasco sauce) is worse going down and leaves you breathless longer but the Naga Chilli 100,000 Scoville Vodka is still hot enough to provide some fun at parties for people that may not be used to hot and spicy food and drink. Hotness Rating: 2 Out Of 5 Danger Rating: 2 Out Of 5  

Naga Chilli 250,000 Scoville Vodka

Now onto the real bad boy. Again, I line up a shot and put it down in one hit. My previous experience had made me a tad complacent and I sit nonchalantly as the heat builds. And builds. And builds..... it's not stopping! The burn is delightful, even if it does hurt a bit! It bites deep into my mouth, gums, tongue and threatens to overwhelm my other senses; my ears are throbbing and I begin to sweat. I'm not quite hallucinating but I reckon it's close, I certainly couldn't speak in any intelligible fashion as my mouth and brain had stopped functioning!

All off a sudden I feel the liquid hit my stomach, my God, is something dissolving down there! My insides are on fire; I can't pretend it's a pleasant experience but I do take a certain perverse satisfaction as I slowly force control back into my body. I've done it. I've survived! I have had hotter food than this but not by much. This is easily the hottest thing I've ever consumed in liquid form and the after burn lasts for a considerable amount of time after the worse of the reaction wears off.

I absolutely love this stuff. No sane individual would want to drink this neat but buy a bottle and you know it won't be long until you and your pals are sitting around the kitchen table trying to prove your mettle against the vodka and each other. There are significantly more constructive things to do on a Saturday night but I can guarantee that they won't be as much fun! Prepare to laugh, prepare to cry, this really is the dogs bollocks!

Hotness Rating: 4.5 Out Of 5 Danger Rating: 5 Out Of 5